Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I want to take you out in your holiday sweater

Late for work...again.

I hate Metro Area traffic. Seriously, with a distinct passion.

My commute should take between 15 and 25 minutes on any given day when I account for normal volumes of traffic. Work is exactly 13 miles from my house. Since I live literally right off a major artery, I can assume that I should be at or above, or at the very least approaching, highway speeds. At an average speed of 55 mph it should take me 14 minutes to get to work. Today it took me an hour and 20 minutes.

  • First I hit traffic on the parkway which connects my neighborhood/town to the interstate. Manageable considering the radio traffic guy is telling me it's a minor delay at the next exit and that it should be clear in the next few minutes.
  • 20 minutes later- Still sitting in the same traffic. I thought this guy said minor delay? He is back on the radio to inform me that the minor delay was only for the first of the 2 accidents within 2 miles of each other. Great...
  • 10 more minutes-Apparently the second of these two fantastic incidents is a major wreck. In fact the cars involved have completely spun off the roadway and they are shutting down the entrance to the interstate. My journey thus far has been completely pointless as I am now funneled onto the southbound entrance ramp and heading in the complete opposite direction of my destination.
  • 45 minutes from the start of my commute- So the Southbound ramp is a parking lot because of the excess traffic. I can't exit the interstate, which is headed in the wrong direction, and I can't continue on my way. I guess I'll just sit here.
  • 55 minutes into my fantastic voyage- I've managed to find an exit that has a functional and open exit ramp and entrance onto the Northbound side of the highway. I'm starting to look forward to all the normal traffic I have to deal with. So far I've just been a tourist on the Southbound, battling the traffic of a foreign land.
  • 1 hour and 10 minutes- I've finally reached the point where the parkway would have entered the interstate. So my net progress in the last 40 minutes I have made 0 net progress in terms of distance from my destination.
  • 1 hour and 22 minutes later- I finally entering the office only to be met by my boss informing me that this tardiness cant be tolerated because someone is complaining that he is showing favoritism and gender bias. I'm quite ready to get drunk at happy hour at this point and it's not even lunch.
Awesome. Seriously though...I hate traffic.

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