Friday, May 1, 2009

Blueberry Waves

I've reached a certain point of no return.

For months I've been building up to this. I saw it coming and I knew I'd have to face it soon enough. Today I hit the breaking point and in reliving the twisted heap of metal and broken glass that defines my life I realized that I've been floating. Directionless.

I decided to harness this vagueness with some unforeseeable purpose, some idea of conviction which has yet to be realized. So the next month is about saddling the un-ridden and bridling the unbridled. It seems obvious now but the fruit of my conviction has been sitting ripened for months. I just had to pick it and make a choice. A choice of when and where to apply this energy and acumen.

That's not to say that I've been completely unproductive to this point. I applied myself to a variety of things. I was just unfocused. After all I'm 22 and confused. That sounds less cliche and more meaningful in my head then when I say it out loud.

In retrospect, none of this rambling makes any sense. But I just needed to get it out. It happens sometimes. Where is my ink when I need it.